Siva was at a loss for what to do.
Who was he? Could what he said be true? And if it were... if it were...
What am I going to do?
I don’t know.
Shouldn’t you have expected this in the first place?
How?
When someone sets such a condition for you, you should expect that she might have said the same to someone else before you.
Hmm.
Did you expect it?
No.
Why?
I never felt like thinking of Anita that way.
So, what do you intend to do now?
I thought I’d think it over and then decide.
Disgusting.
What is?
Your answer.
Why?
To you, who is Anita?
I don’t understand the question.
Is Anita a body or a soul?
Soul.
Wrong answer.
Why?
Anita is neither just a soul nor a body. She is a fellow human being.
Mm.
You have given her hope.
How?
By promising that you will be her protector for life. That you will be the cause of her happiness. That you will act as a vessel for her trust.
But she didn't act as a vessel for my trust, did she?
What? This Vishnu affair?
Mm.
You fool.
Why?
You were not a part of the phase of her life involving Vishnu.
True.
After you entered her life, has she been worthy of your trust? That is what you must look at. You should not make the mistake of scrutinizing how she lived before you came along.
That’s true.
No one gets a partner who has loved only them.
Mm.
Everyone would have lost themselves to someone—or more than one person—either physically or mentally. That is how this world works.
Isn't that wrong?
Rather than labeling it 'right' or 'wrong,' learn to think about what is 'natural.' If you learn to approach everything as a natural occurrence, there is no need to grieve over anything.
True.
Have you never lost yourself to anyone?
To Anita.
Other than her?
Not physically.
But mentally, yes. Isn't that so?
Yes.
There is no fault in it. We can like anyone, at any time. Yet, we carry on without letting others know. Many might have liked us, too. They might have lost themselves to us in their minds, and we wouldn't even know it. It could be anyone. Do you accept this?
Yes. That is true.
Not just that. Even after you marry Anita, it’s not as if you will suddenly stop liking everyone else. But you will choose to control your thoughts. Whether for Anita’s sake, out of love for her, out of fear of society, or to protect the image you’ve built for yourself—you will restrain yourself. That is what most people do. Though, some don't.
Mm. I understand.
I have another question.
Ask.
Suppose you both are married. Or even take the present moment.
What?
Suppose you meet with an accident and die.
What?
Just assume you die.
Okay.
Tell me, what should Anita do? What would make you happy?
If she finds a companion for herself and lives her life beautifully.
Excellent. If this thought is right, then Anita has done nothing wrong.
Mm.
She might have tried living with Vishnu. There might have been a lack of understanding with him. Or perhaps there were flaws. She chose to decide she didn't want him.
And all this?
Is her freedom. You cannot interfere in it. You must not.
Should I not interfere even for her safety?
Interfere only when she shares it with you. Until then, that is her space. Love isn't about claiming 'we are close' and then suffocating each other to the point where you can't breathe. It is essential for lovers to have personal space. It will only increase the love.
That makes sense.
I don't know if you truly understand everything I've said.
Mm.
Go sit alone in a room.
Mm.
You are not Siva. Leave Siva to his own devices. Let him go where he goes. Let him do what he does.
Mm.
Simply observe him without doing anything. Learn.
Learn what?
What Siva really wants.
Mm.
If we are clear about what we want and what we don't, most of our complications will vanish.
I understand.
Congratulations.
Siva gained clarity. He decided there was no longer any need to investigate whether what Vishnu said was true or false. Even if it were true, he decided it didn't need to be given importance.
It was as if that phone call had never happened.
"Siva."
When did Anita come down from the terrace?
Siva smiled.
"What is it, dear? You're lost in deep thought."
As she asked with a smile, Siva looked again at Anita's innocent, child-like face. Suddenly, he pulled her toward him and hugged her. He felt comforted.
Anita understood.
He is my child. I can tell he’s troubled by something. Whatever it is, his face gives it away. He’s an innocent child who doesn't know how to hide anything.
'Don't worry, Siva. As long as I live, I will be there to hold you.'
Anita's heart melted as she held Siva close.
"Siva."
"Mm."
"Do you need me?"
"Mm. Always."
As he said it, she held him even tighter.
In the week that followed, Siva acted as if no such call had ever come, while Anita showered him with boundless love.
The torrential rain had paused for a moment. Siva was rewinding the events of the past three weeks of his life.
He kissed the forehead of Anita, who had been affectionately playful that night; she smiled in her sleep.
Dawn had not yet broken.
In these three weeks, he had come to understand Anita's strengths and weaknesses to some extent.
Until one understands life, the mind will wander over small things. It will grieve over how things happened. It will nurture grudges. But on the day life is suddenly understood, everything that happened turns into a smile.
It makes one think, Is this why I went to such lengths? Those who understand life do not easily get shaken by anything.
They do not get angry. They do not grieve.
Siva had understood life.
To be continued
Who was he? Could what he said be true? And if it were... if it were...
What am I going to do?
I don’t know.
Shouldn’t you have expected this in the first place?
How?
When someone sets such a condition for you, you should expect that she might have said the same to someone else before you.
Hmm.
Did you expect it?
No.
Why?
I never felt like thinking of Anita that way.
So, what do you intend to do now?
I thought I’d think it over and then decide.
Disgusting.
What is?
Your answer.
Why?
To you, who is Anita?
I don’t understand the question.
Is Anita a body or a soul?
Soul.
Wrong answer.
Why?
Anita is neither just a soul nor a body. She is a fellow human being.
Mm.
You have given her hope.
How?
By promising that you will be her protector for life. That you will be the cause of her happiness. That you will act as a vessel for her trust.
But she didn't act as a vessel for my trust, did she?
What? This Vishnu affair?
Mm.
You fool.
Why?
You were not a part of the phase of her life involving Vishnu.
True.
After you entered her life, has she been worthy of your trust? That is what you must look at. You should not make the mistake of scrutinizing how she lived before you came along.
That’s true.
No one gets a partner who has loved only them.
Mm.
Everyone would have lost themselves to someone—or more than one person—either physically or mentally. That is how this world works.
Isn't that wrong?
Rather than labeling it 'right' or 'wrong,' learn to think about what is 'natural.' If you learn to approach everything as a natural occurrence, there is no need to grieve over anything.
True.
Have you never lost yourself to anyone?
To Anita.
Other than her?
Not physically.
But mentally, yes. Isn't that so?
Yes.
There is no fault in it. We can like anyone, at any time. Yet, we carry on without letting others know. Many might have liked us, too. They might have lost themselves to us in their minds, and we wouldn't even know it. It could be anyone. Do you accept this?
Yes. That is true.
Not just that. Even after you marry Anita, it’s not as if you will suddenly stop liking everyone else. But you will choose to control your thoughts. Whether for Anita’s sake, out of love for her, out of fear of society, or to protect the image you’ve built for yourself—you will restrain yourself. That is what most people do. Though, some don't.
Mm. I understand.
I have another question.
Ask.
Suppose you both are married. Or even take the present moment.
What?
Suppose you meet with an accident and die.
What?
Just assume you die.
Okay.
Tell me, what should Anita do? What would make you happy?
If she finds a companion for herself and lives her life beautifully.
Excellent. If this thought is right, then Anita has done nothing wrong.
Mm.
She might have tried living with Vishnu. There might have been a lack of understanding with him. Or perhaps there were flaws. She chose to decide she didn't want him.
And all this?
Is her freedom. You cannot interfere in it. You must not.
Should I not interfere even for her safety?
Interfere only when she shares it with you. Until then, that is her space. Love isn't about claiming 'we are close' and then suffocating each other to the point where you can't breathe. It is essential for lovers to have personal space. It will only increase the love.
That makes sense.
I don't know if you truly understand everything I've said.
Mm.
Go sit alone in a room.
Mm.
You are not Siva. Leave Siva to his own devices. Let him go where he goes. Let him do what he does.
Mm.
Simply observe him without doing anything. Learn.
Learn what?
What Siva really wants.
Mm.
If we are clear about what we want and what we don't, most of our complications will vanish.
I understand.
Congratulations.
Siva gained clarity. He decided there was no longer any need to investigate whether what Vishnu said was true or false. Even if it were true, he decided it didn't need to be given importance.
It was as if that phone call had never happened.
"Siva."
When did Anita come down from the terrace?
Siva smiled.
"What is it, dear? You're lost in deep thought."
As she asked with a smile, Siva looked again at Anita's innocent, child-like face. Suddenly, he pulled her toward him and hugged her. He felt comforted.
Anita understood.
He is my child. I can tell he’s troubled by something. Whatever it is, his face gives it away. He’s an innocent child who doesn't know how to hide anything.
'Don't worry, Siva. As long as I live, I will be there to hold you.'
Anita's heart melted as she held Siva close.
"Siva."
"Mm."
"Do you need me?"
"Mm. Always."
As he said it, she held him even tighter.
In the week that followed, Siva acted as if no such call had ever come, while Anita showered him with boundless love.
The torrential rain had paused for a moment. Siva was rewinding the events of the past three weeks of his life.
He kissed the forehead of Anita, who had been affectionately playful that night; she smiled in her sleep.
Dawn had not yet broken.
In these three weeks, he had come to understand Anita's strengths and weaknesses to some extent.
Until one understands life, the mind will wander over small things. It will grieve over how things happened. It will nurture grudges. But on the day life is suddenly understood, everything that happened turns into a smile.
It makes one think, Is this why I went to such lengths? Those who understand life do not easily get shaken by anything.
They do not get angry. They do not grieve.
Siva had understood life.
To be continued
Author: gavudham
Article Title: I'm born just to love you 11
Source URL: Gk Tamil Novels-https://gktamilnovels.com
Quote & Share Rules: Short quotations can be made from the article provided that the source is included, but the entire article cannot be copied to another site or published elsewhere without permission of the author.
Article Title: I'm born just to love you 11
Source URL: Gk Tamil Novels-https://gktamilnovels.com
Quote & Share Rules: Short quotations can be made from the article provided that the source is included, but the entire article cannot be copied to another site or published elsewhere without permission of the author.